Genuine Love
Days have passed
and nights of unending sharp blades pierce my head;
Spinning deeply like wounds of flashbacks
that hasn’t been mended.
I lost my sense of joy and initiative actions.
I just wanted to feel the simplicity of life.
Checking what the world would do
without me making the first move.
Pleasing people doesn’t make sense to me anymore.
I lost a part of me that extends a part of my soul.
I lost the love I have been trying to give.
Because I realized that,
You could never receive the exact love you wanted.
It would always be the love that
they wanted to give you whole heartedly.
They say, happiness begins with you
and it is not dependent from others.
Once you find your happiness,
and let go of your suffering,
it would be living in a fulfulling life.
A life that you deserve.
A life that you should be living.
You shouldn’t be living in a shallow world
where traditions and bloodlines are necessities.
If you are suffering from a toxic environment that poisons your good heart,
then you will not fully grow.
You will live a lifetime that easily withers.
A life that is full of walls with hatred and criticisms.
Their disappointments will drown you day after day
and you will lose your precious self in the process.
Try to jump out of that danger zone.
If you think that you could fully grow outside of that zone,
then its time to live in peace and be more comfortable living in a life you had forsaken.
Sometimes, the blood that runs through your veins can poison your soul.
It would make you stumble and hate yourself.
And by hating yourself, you will lose yourself.
Alignment of self is also a necessity.
On the other hand, if you are living in a zone
with eyes that worry, ears that listen and mind that wants to understand
then I guess, you should try to slowly break
the wall that you built to isolate yourself;
For those who values you might grow fond of that wall
and you won’t be getting the same love
you have been receiving time after time.
I would say, you are so lucky to have that kind of love.
If you are inclined to their beliefs,
it would be easier for you to move towards your own progress.
There are lots of people in this world
and you aren’t isolated in a place with those boundaries alone.
It might be an isolation of a toxic environment
or an isolation of yourself keeping all your problems.
You will always have that choice to stay, jump or move forward.
If you have been sorrounded by people who aren’t aligned to your own beliefs
and causes you more suffering,
then it’s time to cross a path with people or someone who does.
But if you have been sorrounded by people who are aligned to your own beliefs,
then it’s time to let go of the worries you are thinking
and open yourself to produce soliditary.
You might have thought that the people around you
are the only people you would be living in your lifetime.
Then you have forgotten that
you are just a star above that wide and large sky.
Someday, you would meet someone who would understand right away.
There is someone who connects with your soul;
not just merely by obligations and responsibilities.
There’s this kind of love that is mutual.
There’s this kind of love who thinks on your own behalf rather than
what other people would say.
There’s this kind of connection that is more than blood.
Standards has always been a perception of other people.
You don’t need to be acknowledged by others.
Set your own standards.
What are your goals?
What is your happiness?
You are enough.
You were born to live your own life.
But make sure you don’t forsake those who were born because of you
before getting the life you had forsaken.
Human beings are too shallow to understand fully the complex meaning of life.
Please bear in mind that you arent living to just earn money.
Why are rich people commiting suicide?
Why are rich people not satisfied from the luxurious things they have?
Why are rich people not happy with the money they have?
Because, someday you would know that the happiness you can buy has always been temporary
and later in your existence, you would understand what money can’t buy.
Something that you wanted through your entire life.
That is, a genuine love.
A love that you don’t have to earn.
A love without standards.
A love that accepts you wholeheartedly.
A love that you can depend on to.
That love is a balance of yourself and others in whole.
- Youth - January 11, 2021
- Genuine Love - January 9, 2021
- Compassion - December 11, 2020